1. What do mentors and mentees do?
The activities of each mentor/mentee relationships is unique. Mentors and mentees should call each other at least once a week, and should get together periodically to talk and participate in activities on their own. A form should be supplied to keep a record of all contacts. Keep in mind that this is not a "buddy" relationship, but one that furnishes inspiration, self esteem and nurturing for both parties. Mentors often provide academic support, attention, concern, and an interest in the well-being of the mentee. Optional group activities can help the participants form a group identity and learn more about each other. An end of the year activity, such as a celebration or dinner reinforces the mentee's pride and self esteem in his or her accomplishments over the year.

2. How do you choose mentors?
Mentors should be chosen through applications and interviews. Background checks of prospective mentors are necessary due to concerns of child and sexual abuse and criminal activity. This is why you ask for references from the mentors. You need to be very specific in asking questions of references. Do not be afraid to ask about criminal activity, child abuse, and the character of the prospective mentor. Many courts are holding organizations responsible for not checking on these factors beforehand. Click here for information about background checks.

3. Is there anything that mentors and mentees should not do?
Mentors and mentees should refrain from any activity that would seem questionable, especially if they are of the opposite gender. This may include outings and activities without other persons, inappropriate behavior, use of hand language, etc. Mentors and mentees should always present themselves in the best manner at all times. Mentors should not take on the role of parent, professional therapist or social worker.

4. What if I don't recruit enough mentors. Then what?
Choosing more mentors than you need is a good idea, because you can keep their names on file for later. You should try to get more mentors if you don't have enough, so that each young person is assigned to his or her own mentor. If, however, you cannot get enough adults to participate, you may have to assign more than one mentee to an adult. But do this as a last resort.

5. What do I do if the mentors and mentees don't get along?
Talk to the mentor and the mentee to find out what problems they are having. Don't give up immediately -- give the mentor and the mentee their time to develop their relationship, say at least two months. This is a good opportunity to learn new forms of crisis management -- the resolution of difference in a manner in which both parties can live with the solution. If after that time there is still friction, talk to both of them again to see if their differences can be worked out. If not, reassign the two to other persons. By all means, try to keep them both participating in the program. Remember, everyone does not get along; your program is not "bad" if this happens.

6. How long should a mentoring program last?
You should give your program at least a year to get started. Evaluate your program at the end of the year, and make changes as necessary. Be optimistic -- plan on adding more mentors to your program and expanding your activities.

7. What are the current trends in mentoring?
There are several issues gaining interest and support in mentoring. Background checks of prospective mentors are necessary due to concerns of child abuse and criminal activity. Many programs train and certify their mentors. Although there is also a trend to match mentors and mentees who differ greatly in ethnicity, values, age, and/or creed, many young people need "sameness". Partnerships between the private and public sector are also a new trend, giving mentees the added experience and exposure to persons in the professional world.

8. What should a mentor expect from a mentee?
Make sure your mentors understand that they will be working with young people who think and act like young people. They should not expect perfection, nor should they be surprised at what the young people say or do. It is important for mentors to be prepared for the difference in values and opinions relevant to education, religion, politics -- any subject. Mentees may also shun the mentors in the beginning because they are different -- too old, from a different ethnic background, or "stuck up". Encourage the mentors to be open to and to respect new opinions, experiences, and values of the mentees. Also encourage them to refrain from forcing their own values on the mentees.

9. What should a mentee expect from a mentor?
Make sure your mentees understand that they will be working with adults, and that they should respect them. They should not expect the impossible from the mentor. Encourage the mentees to be open to and respect new opinions, experiences, and values of the mentors. Mentees should also be able to count on their mentors -- this establishes trust and confidence in an adult. A commitment or promise made to a mentee should be kept, barring extreme emergencies.

10. What makes a mentoring program successful?
Successful mentoring depends on the "give and take" of the relationship. Mentees must feel that their best interests are being met, and that their mentors and persons involved in the program are committed to them. Mentors must feel that they are contributing to the growth and well being of the mentees.